Quick tip for Roman Abramovich: easier to get there off the Bass Highway than going through town, especially if coming from the airport. If you hit the Prospect Vale Woolworth's, you've gone too far.

Ever the optimist, Hardwicke said this week that as Australia was in a much healthier position than the rest of the world's major sporting nations, and given Tasmania's additional geographical isolation, it is not unfeasible to suggest the state may be among the first to return to action if and when the coronavirus ever goes away.

As NPL Tasmania matches are streamed live, this could open the state up to a soccer-starved global audience in the same way as the current fascination for the national league of Belarus.

The former Soviet Republic seems to think it is immune to COVID-19 so is not only persisting with fixtures, but playing them in stadia full of supporters. Apparently social isolation isn't the done thing in Minsk.

According to wikipedia, Belarus has a population of 9.5 million, although this figure looks set to plummet given the previous paragraph.

Anyway, as this is virtually the only football of any code being played anywhere on the planet it has suddenly acquired a huge global following, with fans the world over hanging on the latest results of BATE Borisov and Dinamo Brest.

And don't get started about the history between Vitebsk and Slutsk.

Back in Tasmania, Hardwicke suggested that given City's Italian roots and previous name of Juventus, it would be conceivable that the club's ancestral home might want to get behind them.

Having become the unwitting epicentre of the global epidemic, the soccer-mad nation would probably welcome any form of distraction.

And it would indeed be delightful to think that City goal-machine Noah Mies could soon become the pin-up boy of Naples in a way not seen since the retirement of Diego Maradona or that Jarrod Linger could replace Francesco Totti as the preferred playmaker of Roma's ultras.

Suddenly goalkeeper Lachlan Clark wouldn't be able to visit Milan without being mobbed by Rossoneri autograph-hunters keen to get him down the San Siro and face a few spot-kicks.

And why stop at soccer?

When the AFL revealed its inner Belarusian by persevering with the start of its season despite every other sportsman preferring to self-isolate in the foothills of Federation Peak, the code swiftly acquired a cult following in the US.

Deprived of their own domestic competitions, Americans did something totally out of character: they began taking an interest in other countries.

With no other sport available to broadcast, an AFL fixture was promoted to a major cable channel with favourable results.

Former NFL punter Pat McAfee led the hysteria, sharing his considerable excitement on social media. Gridiron fans were transfixed.

Essendon and Fremantle hadn't been this popular for years.

Sadly, the fascination waned when AFL House - like Boris Johnson - came to the realisation that it was not immune to the virus.

However, if the Tasmanian State League could resume before its sister competitions on the mainland, it could easily fill the void.

Fear not forlorn Dustin Martin fans stateside, as similarly-inked posterboy Mitch Thorp puts Hobart City to the sword.

Who needs outspoken loose Collingwood cannon Eddie McGuire when Darren Winter is available for interview?

European sports fans denied annual treats like the Tour de France, Wimbledon or Monaco Grand Prix will barely notice once they experience the cut-throat excitement of a Northern Hawks versus Cavaliers Tasmanian Netball League derby.

Novak who? I'm a Danni Pickett man, me.

And why should Tasmania need to join the NBL if the state is the only place in Australia where basketball is being played?

Rename it the TBL and get the cameras down to Elphin Sports Centre for the eagerly-anticipated Japara-Trojans showdown.

That's enough inane frivolity, I've got to go. Apparently Manchester City owner Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan has got lost on Westbury Road.