Before the AFL Grand Final, some people look for the deep dives and in-depth analysis to educate to get in the know before the greatest day on earth.
If that doesn't interest you in the slightest, you're in the right place with The Examiner's uneducated guide to the AFL grand final. Here's the key factors to be across so you'll be the toast of the grand final party.
Once the domain of the upper class, cheese boards, or Charcuterie boards as Melbourne fans call them, are in fashion and the perfect grand final accompaniment.
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The perfect piecemeal assortment, they taste elegant and classy in the joy of victory and remain a noble option in the despair of defeat. 10/10 recommended.
Nothing says grand final day more than rocking up at a grand final party for a couple of quiet waters and being in bed by a reasonable hour ... if that ever actually happened.
While some attention will be on who performs the best on-field, for those of us without any skin in the game, it's all about the best off-field performance.
As Fox Footy rabbits on about pressure acts and meters gained, the after-party performance is all about food to alcohol ratios and radius to the drinks cooler, the important stats to remember if you want to claim your own Norm Smith on the day.
Do keep in mind that the Perth time difference has the game starting at 7pm AEST, so don't go too hard too early.
You may ask who to look out for among 44 of the best athletes the AFL has to offer.
The answer is two six-foot-plus midfield-forward adonis' who would look equally adept on a Vogue runaway as they do on the wide expanses of Optus Stadium.
Christian Petracca forms part of Melbourne's key midfield set-up. Lauded by the club for his ability to bring teammates into the play and set them up with good looks and praised by the wider AFL fan-base for being good looking.
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Marcus Bontempelli is everything to the Bulldogs, in fact he probably can do anything. Equally skilled as a towering target in attack or bullocking through the midfield, it's unfair how much this man can do.
He'll be key to whether it is a case of a dog day or up dog for the club.
Regardless of whether you're an AFL fan or not, if you're under 25 years of age with a TikTok account, there's a fair chance you've heard of Bailey Smith.
As well as being a bloody good footballer who has set the AFL finals series alight, Smith is increasingly popular with the teenage female demographic due to his luscious locks and cheeky smile.
If you wish to ignore the pace-setting advice above, finish your drink every time his social media popularity or his mullet is mentioned and you'll be on track for a brilliant evening.
Do you know someone who is contributing to Northern Tasmanian sport, whether through participating or assisting?
The Examiner's Junior Sports Awards, sponsored by Woolworths, provide acknowledgement of accomplishments by players, coaches, volunteers, teams and clubs across the region.
Nominations are open from Wednesday, April 14, and will close at midnight on October 4.
Entries must include a photograph of the entrant.
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