Spin doctors the big winners in sport

Races, matches, competitions, tournaments and even an Olympic Games may have been struck down, but it seems not even a global pandemic can diminish sport's ability to polish what cockneys of a rhyming persuasion would call a Richard the Third.

Locally and internationally, spin doctors appear to be thriving in these troubled times, effortlessly dressing up bad news as if it is exactly what fans have been waiting for.

It is a market in which Australia can proudly claim to be a world-leader.

And no finer example has emerged than the AFL pledging to deliver more investment in community footy ... with 20 per cent less staff.

Last week, the league politburo released a diktat headlined "AFL operations restructure" which proceeded to handle the English language as adeptly as Dustin Martin handles a Sherrin.

The introduction read: "The AFL has today announced its new organisational model as it continues to adjust to the challenges caused by the ongoing impact of the COVID-19 pandemic."

If only the AFL employed journalists that were completely independent and free to write the truth without constraints. Like Mitch Cleary for example.

Maybe then the introduction might have read: "The AFL is attempting to sell a 20 per cent reduction in staff as a boost for regional footy."

Sold as both a "rebuild" and "investment", the "restructure" detailed how the AFL would "ensure the future health of the game at all levels".

In a lengthy and, to be frank, quite brilliant opening gambit, the only hint of any down side was in describing the AFL business model as being "leaner and more agile". Leaner? Doesn't that imply some sort of reduction? Surely not, if it is going to become more agile.

Sitting third on a list of "key strategic objectives" was an "investment in community football".

However, buried down at sixth on the list of key priorities came: "A reduction in approximately 20 per cent of roles across the AFL nationally."

This raises several questions.

The AFL is not alone here, although this latest assignment does have it sitting top of a competitive class.

The Olympic movement is also prone to presenting depressing news as a reason to be cheerful.

Exactly eight years after the closing ceremony of the 2012 Games, it was announced that a record number of 139 athletes have so far been banned or disqualified for doping in London.

A massive 65 of them were caught in a re-analysis program, with only nine failing during the Games. That figure included 39 medallists, 13 of them gold.

Dwarfing the previous highest number of disqualifications (81) from Beijing four years earlier, the program of re-analysing two-thirds of 5000 samples taken at London 2012 for banned performance-enhancing drugs, was described by the website insidethegames as having "sent a clear message that athletes who have cheated can never rest comfortably".

It even carried a list of offending nations - think of it as an anti-medal table.

Congratulations Russia which is leading the world in disqualified athletes, way out in front on 46 with Ukraine (17) heading the chasing pack along with serial recidivists Belarus, Turkey, Kazakhstan, Moldova, Uzbekistan, Armenia and Azerbaijan.

This represents a quite incredible global coincidence as all those nations are neighbours in the same area of the planet. It appears that eastern Europe/western Asia is as fertile a breeding ground for drug cheats as New Zealand and Australia are respectively for rugby and AFL players.

As if to underline this geographical generalisation, the remaining multiple offenders on the list also includes Albania, Georgia, Romania and Slovenia ... as well as that paragon of sporting fairness, the United States.

But back to the spin, and World Anti-Doping Agency president Witold Baka said such a comprehensive and effective program of re-testing has meant more athletes who should have won medals at the time are now receiving credit for their performances.

"It means that justice can be served - even if it is years later - thanks to new or improved detection methods," he said.

"It sends a clear message that we will not stop seeking justice for those who have been cheated and that we will always stand beside the athletes who choose to compete clean."

Old mate Witold is right, but it's a sad state of affairs.

Australian Jared Tallent is now rightly acknowledged as the 2012 Olympic champion in the 50km walk, but received his gold medal four years later and 17,000km away in Melbourne after original winner Sergey Kirdyapkin was found to have been among Russia's finest cheats.

Pity not just athletes denied podium glory but spectators cheated out of a genuine Olympic experience. They were watching a sham.

If only world sport was as healthy and productive as its own spin doctors.