Service resumes but its nothing normal

As Tasmanians flood back to shacks, national parks and pubs while Americans mark their world-leading coronavirus status with mass rallies, what constitutes normality appears to have been redefined by three months of abnormality.

And sport is playing a lead role in the process.

As the world tackles the biggest global crisis since the Second World War, Collingwood and Port Adelaide presidents Eddie McGuire and David Koch are arguing over guernsey designs while underworked footy correspondents continue to enjoy prime spots in television sports round-ups to report on players' new haircuts and tattoos plus the eagerly-anticipated result of the West Coast Eagles players' annual beach dog race.

Footballers are being told they must sit a minimum of 1.5 metres away from teammates on a bench ... but are allowed to tackle complete strangers on the ground.

Nick Kyrgios can be found criticising the Brisbane Broncos for not trying. Mirrors must be in short supply in the Kyrgios household.

ELSEWHERE IN SPORT:

The John Farnham of UFC, Irishman Conor McGregor, retires from the sport - for the third time in four years - citing a dearth of viable opponents.

The top story on the BBC's football web page reports on Schalke's 1-1 draw with Union Berlin "after Wolfsburg dealt a crushing blow to Werder Bremen's battle for Bundesliga survival".

Tasmanian cricket and football associations join forces in a display of mutual harmony and respect.

Channel Seven announces that Brian Taylor will be commentating on the AFL's return "from an empty MCG" - presumably surrounded by all his admirers.

The NBA battles to be taken seriously while announcing it will play out its season at Disneyworld.

The Athletics Integrity Unit responds to Bahrain's 400-metre world champion Salwa Eid Naser's admission that she missed three anti-doping tests by pointing out it was actually four.

Manchester City claims to have "irrefutable evidence" that it did not breach financial fair play regulations despite UEFA clearly refuting this with a guilty verdict, 25 million pound fine and ban from European competition.

AFL continues to dominate print and broadcast sports reports in Australia despite clubs being forced to slash the size of their media departments raising the unthinkable proposition that maybe they were just a little over-staffed to start with.

England resumes major football competitions just as it becomes the second country in the world to surpass 40,000 coronavirus deaths.

Serial killers, Second World War dictators, errant British political advisers and even age-defying, smiley showbiz correspondents appear among the cutout fans at NRL matches.

After years of ignoring calls for crowd-pulling clubs to play in Tasmania, the AFL consider sending them down to play in empty stadiums.

Americans simultaneously riot in every major city over one tragic, unnecessary death, but actively protest against life-saving measures following another 100,000.

Supposedly financially-responsible politicians present a $60 billion miscalculation as a positive.

I appear to have strayed away from sport, but I'm on a roll so am running with it.

The country which gave the world coronavirus warns its citizens not to visit one of the countries least affected by it.

The epitome of political over-expenditure and unaccountability, Bronwyn Bishop, is honoured in the Queen's Birthday Honours List, presumably for services to the helicopter industry. Misogynist homophobe Tony Abbott also gets the highest national honour. Be proud Australia. Alan Jones will probably be there next year.

When not declaring it's a great day for the recently-deceased George Floyd; attempting to conduct press conferences over the noise of surrounding riots; refusing to tackle gun law following mass shootings; wielding a Bible but unable to recite anything from it; overseeing two million of his subjects contract coronavirus and 40 million lose their jobs; paying off porn stars; boasting about groping women; or blaming the media for accurately reporting the inevitable legacy of his ineptitude, Donald Trump is continuing to make America great again.

And Tweeting "Fake news" while being evacuated from the White House as rioters close in, prompting another question of why he was leaving if this news was fake.

Paragraphs summing up the misdemeanours of world leaders stretch to 86 words and still don't do the subject full justice.

At a time when the world is facing unprecedented reality on television, the top story on The Examiner's web page is about a reality television show.

If all of this is normality, just imagine what chaos looks like.