VIVA La Bass Strait.
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A violent stretch of ocean with more than 50 islands, more than 20 offshore oil and gas rigs; a fishing industry; a potentially cyclonic stretch for yacht racing; and for all our trouble, we get about $150 million a year from the Commonwealth to subsidise freight and passenger vehicle movements.
We're hostage to this ocean perimeter, which dictates so much of our economy.
Whether from industrial trouble or volcanic ash, if the planes don't fly it's either a scramble for a berth on the Spirit fleet, or a ruined trip.
Melbourne lawyer Peter Brohier has spent his professional life trying to get Bass Strait recognised as a national highway. A sort of land bridge.
They reckon there are enough islands to actually build an island- hopping bridge, if only we had a shipload of money.
The Brohier dream partly got there in 1996 when former prime ministers Paul Keating and John Howard kind of agreed.
Mr Keating promised Tasmania a $44 million passenger ferry as a gift. Mr Howard won the 1996 election and gave us the passenger vehicle subsidy instead, now worth about $41 million a year, uncapped.
Some dismiss Mr Brohier as a pest.
Denison independent MHR Andrew Wilkie doesn't.
He has taken the Brohier thesis, given it to Prime Minister Julia Gillard and asked to have it costed.
If the Brohier equalisation argument was ever accepted our federal payments would probably increase from $150 million a year to $300 million.
Don't hold your breath.
Between 2008 and 2014 the two maritime subsidies, combined with federal road funding, will hand Tasmania about $1.7 billion, or 4.6 per cent of a $36 billion pool earmarked over six years.
The Bass Strait distance as the crow flies is a little more than double the length of the Midland Highway.
The nature of this commercial hostage drama lies in the penalty for living and doing business in Tasmania.
For instance, we lost the AAA export service that enabled direct exports between Tasmania and Asia, so now freight forwarders and exporters have to export via Melbourne, with the extra costs not covered by the Freight Equalisation Scheme.
The freight scheme covers mainly southbound freight.
You have to weigh up whether the transport subsidies and existing road funding are enough to compensate for our island status. Probably not.
There's a chance the Gillard assessment will say as much because of a whole layer of hidden costs and anomalies.
Those who think Peter Brohier is an obsessive pest should consider our predicament.
Other states believe we get too much GST but don't pull our weight because we can't process developments such as the Gunns pulp mill.
West Australian Premier Colin Barnett dubbed us a large national park, like a Greens' playground, on welfare.
Mr Barnett forgets, or omits that we get comparatively negligible defence spending.
Tasmania has 208 regular military and civilian Defence personnel, out of 78,341 nationally.
We've got the Scottsdale research facility, an artillery firing range and a few barracks.
Other states and territories have massive navy ship building and maintenance facilities, in some cases politically positioned, and numerous large army and RAAF bases.
Our share of the federal public service is 2.5 per cent, against, say, Canberra with a 38 per cent share, and you have to ask why.
Canberra has no claim to such a dominant share.
In fact, better to have a decentralised bureaucracy.
The state government is in talks with Canberra on various Bass Strait issues, but not big picture stuff.
It's time they lifted their sights. Bass Strait is either an integral part of the national road network or it's not.
If Canberra says it's not, then clearly we are not part of the federation.