THERE’S a new mop on the market that looks fantastic.
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It completely redesigns mop technology, soaking up spills and minimising user effort.
There are also so many law firms about that will help you with injury accident claims, and get this, if they don't win, you don't pay. Good deal eh?
Oh dear, it's started early.
Most years, my season of nocturnal sport viewing is pretty much limited to the months of June, July and August and European events like the Tour de France, Wimbledon and the Ashes.
But this year it has got underway early.
And the inevitable consequence of watching TV with a weakened immunity to night-time advertising is a gullible belief in their claims.
The cause is a combination of the world Twenty20 cricket tournament, an Australian winning the Paris-Roubaix cycling classic and one of the most exciting English soccer seasons in my lifetime.
And there seems no let up on the horizon.
Jamie Vardy’s golden boot could be about to trample all over Cinderella’s golden slipper as Leicester City threaten to produce the ultimate fairytale finish in the English Premier League.
Meanwhile, my beloved Brighton and Hove Albion are the closest they have been to the top flight since four years before young Jamie was born and Rupert Murdoch was kind enough to broadcast the Seagulls’ nail-biters against Championship title rivals Burnley and mid-table meanderers Nottingham Forest.
Admittedly, there’s no Ashes series this year, for what seems the first time in a decade, but Richie Porte’s involvement again makes the Tour de France unmissable viewing courtesy of SBS while Maria Sharapova and her Russian compatriots have ensured Wimbledon and the Olympics might actually be played on level playing fields this year.
Before all that is the European soccer championships in France featuring a record contingent of UK home nations, namely England, Northern Ireland, Republic of Ireland and Wales.
For an England-born fan brought up on a diet of recurring international disappointment, it's all too much.
The prospect of Leicester outfoxing the Premier League big guns, even with Vardy's recent suspension for gratuitous porkchoppery, is too good to be true.
If Leicester do claim the title, having started the season at odds of 5000-1, it will be wonderful for English, and indeed world, soccer.
Their highest profile fan, England’s 1986 World Cup golden boot winner Gary Lineker, has even vowed to present Match of the Day in his underpants, leading to much speculation on Twitter as to whether he is a boxer shorts or Y-fronts man.
I’ll settle for buying that mop.
