To help out, we've compiled an easy-to-follow what-to-do list that'll be just as important as your form guide.

If anyone at the races will have a good idea of how the jockeys performed it will be the jockeys, so you don't need to tell them.

For your information they would not do better if they were a bit taller and could, in fact, drive an autonomous vehicle.

Be a bit considerate - it might be your day off, but for some of the horses it's their toughest day of the year.

You wouldn't like it if someone came in to your office at the business-end of a busy Friday and told you that you were the slowest thing there apart from the printer, and neither do they.

Also they can't hear you.

Food planning is time well-spent on any occasion and the Launceston Cup is no different.

Eat your sandwiches early while they're at peak freshness - you wont want them at the end of the day when they're stale and the meat's gone a bit iffy.

Chips, bikkies and fruit are winners all day long and should be saved until last thing.

If you know you can't wear heels for the whole day, you know you can't wear heels for the whole day.

Unless you're trying to sell them - which I'm yet to see anyone do - there's no point carrying them in your hand, so make use of the girl privilege of being able to take a bag to everything and make the switch whenever you need to.

It's everyone's responsibility to add to the atmosphere and occasionally that means vocally supporting your horse of choice.

In light of 'get the whip out' being likely to offend at least someone in earshot, feel free to use 'get up, get up!' regularly, or if you're feeling really adventurous, 'don't get boxed in!'.

You don't want to be the guy criticising horses for being too slow at carrying humans two kilometres around a racetrack if you can't walk in a straight line yourself.

There's plenty of water at the races so the only ones who should be getting sloshed are the horses in their post-race wash down.

One look at a race list will tell you that you can't rely on names like He's A Shoe-in or Definitely Will Win running in every race, so you need to have a back-up plan for picking a winner.

If you can get your hands on a race guide, the numbers before the horses name signify their most recent placings, not ratings out of 10.

The only time your horse is bound to win is when you're still waiting in the queue to put a bet on him on as the race finishes.

Shop around for odds and place your bet well before the race so you can wave your little ticket about excitedly during the race.

People are always coming to me for fashion tips* and the one thing I always say is signature piece, signature piece, signature piece, to which they always say 'but that's three things'.

Anyone can just come straight from work without getting changed, so if you want to give the fashion judges something to think about, don a schmancy tie or a pocket square that just says 'boy oh boy, wowee'.

Also if you wear a really big hat, you won't have to wear as much sunscreen.

*People are not always coming to me for fashion tips.

You didn't pay $30 just to sit in a deck chair and drink champagne, so you may as well watch at least one race.

If you did pay $30 just to sit in a deck chair and drink champagne you're welcome at my place any time, just leave the money in the letterbox.

If you avoid the mid-day rush you'll save yourself a good 20 minutes and potentially even score a good park.

The less time you spend banked up in traffic on the optimistically-titled Mowbray connector, the more time you'll spend on the lawn vociferously cheering on a horse you've never heard of before.

And isn't that what the races are all about?