The wandering hand of a seemingly entitled stranger heading in your direction is a terrifying thing.
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Five alleged sexual assaults were reported at the Marion Bay Falls Festival in 2016-17, but who knows how many more incidents went unreported.
On Thursday, Falls Festival organisers broke their silence on the reports, taking to the festival’s Facebook page to say they were “saddened and disturbed” by the allegations.
“Like everyone else we are disgusted and angry that some people feel they can inappropriately touch others without their consent,” organisers said.
This is not the time to blame the festival, to blame police, or security – it’s time to look at ourselves and what we value.
Whether it’s sexual assault, intimidation, or uninvited attention, what right does anyone have to keep someone else in a constant state of hyper awareness?
If you think I’m exaggerating, ask any female who has had to walk home alone at night, who has crossed the street to avoid a male crowd, or has been left humiliated at the sound of a wolf whistle from a passing car.
Each of these incidents were probably completely innocent, but we are starting to become afraid of innocent situations.
We should not have to be afraid at a festival, on the street, at a party, in our own home, at work, or anywhere else.
We need to learn that making eye contact is not an invitation for intimacy.
A bump on the shoulder in a moshpit is not a subtle hint for wanting something more.
There is no such thing as an invitation for sexual assault.
A mosh pit is a squishy place and I think everyone goes in knowing they are almost definitely going to be touched by a stranger, but there is a big difference between being touched and being groped.
How sad is it that at a festival, an event that is centred around good vibes, has turned into an event where you have to be constantly watching for an over-confident stranger looking you up and down.
How many of us have been sitting on the hill, having a few drinks and chatting with some friends, when a guy in a tank top, short shorts and a water bottle full of vodka wanders over.
He lays down next to you, props himself up on one arm, and asks “how’s it going”.
You roll your eyes and look back over your shoulder at your friends because you know this guy doesn’t really care about how your day is going.
Maybe this guy is just looking for a friendly face to chat to. Maybe not.
While a case like this is not assault, it is often unwanted.
I’m sure there are males out there who have also felt taken advantage of and intimidated by females, and this is just as disturbing.
I know a lot of people are drunk at festivals and have probably let their guard down, but this is not an excuse.
There is no excuse.
And then there’s the fear that comes with reporting a sexual assault – is this person going to find out I reported them? Will they be angry? Am I in danger?
To those five people at Falls, reporting the alleged incidents was probably scary, but you have become an example to others.
It’s a new year and a new beginning, maybe it’s time we took a hard look at ourselves and our culture.
The message is simple – keep your hands off.
