The fact that all coaches have worn the same thing throughout the blind auditions thus far suggests that everything we’ve seen over the past fortnight was shot on the one, longggggg day. And we’re only seeing the half-decent auditions. Will.i.am’s increasingly apparent inertia suddenly makes a whole lot of sense.

Sabrina Batshon is 29, from Sydney and she describes herself as a nervous and insecure person who suffers panic attacks.

Fortunately for Sabrina she doesn’t appear to be suffering from anxiety in the slightest tonight. She’s no bigger than a minute but her voice is something to behold - she sings The Power Of Love by Celine Dion and is genuinely great, something we haven’t been able to say too often so far this series. Ricky, entranced from the get-go and making that sexy hypnotised face, is the first to turn.

Will.i.am is the only coach who doesn’t turn, because he thought “her voice belonged with another coach”, he says. “It’s OK, you don’t have to like me,” she says to will.i.am, which seems a pretty ballsy reaction for an anxious, nervy person, but we like Sabrina more for it.

Ricky says, “When I heard that voice I had to turn, because that voice should not be singing to the back of a chair,” which deservedly gets him the girl, but in truth he had Sabrina the moment he hit the buzzer. Will.i.am says he should have turned. Should have, didn’t.

Doug Williams is next. He’s 63 and he has dreadlocks and wears a green shirt with a gold bow tie and has sung with Renee Geyer, among others and once worked with Ray Charles or something like that.

Anyway, his connections haven’t carried him very far thus far, which is why auditioning for The Voice. He sings a funky version of Love The One You’re With while playing bass guitar and it has the judges up and dancing, most of them badly.

All except will.i.am, that is, who remains seated. Joel is the first to turn and says, “It’s nice to see a musician up there singing as well as you sing and playing as well as you play,” and for this he is rewarded with a “You da man.” Will.i.am again makes a speech about how he should have turned and something about the bass that rhymes with hitting his face. We don’t quite buy it. If he wanted to turn he would have turned, right?

Will.i.am at this stage is distraught. “It’s like I’ve caught a virus and I’m congested and not breathing properly,” he says, which makes no sense whatsoever. The dude is simply electing not to turn.

Scott Kociuruba is next up, he’s 38 and he loves the ‘50s and wears quirky suits and bow ties and sings Dean Martin songs and goes vintage shopping with his funky girlfriend and does retro dance moves as he auditions.

Unfortunately none of this means squat if you can’t sing, and while Scott’s performance of Del Shannon’s Runaway is certainly not the worst we’ve seen so far, it’s not enough to get the chairs spinning. They did like the way he whistled, but sadly for Scott this show is not called The Whistle.

At this point will.i.am tells us, “I’m that rebel guy, I’m real strategic, but I’m not gonna let the other coaches know that because that’s just the kind of coach I am,” which totally negates his earlier comment about feeling “congested”.

We actually suspect it’s a case of neither, and more likely a touch of producer intervention - will.i.am has been so popular with the contestants so far he was probably ordered to take a breather to let the other coaches catch up.

Lucie M. is from Melbourne, she has a cutesy retro polka dot thing going on and her dear Dad has built her a studio and a stage at home from where she teaches singing. Her appearance on The Voice mightn’t be great for business - she sings Nobody’s Perfect by Jessie J and neither is she - she’s affected by nerves and is pitchy and no one turns, but they tell her her students should be proud of her anyway.

Rosie Henshaw, 27, from NSW, is up next. She grew up in India and this has clearly shaped her, she’s barefoot because she likes to feel connected to the earth.

She also played a lot of sitar there apparently, but tonight opts for a drum box, and she taps on this as she sings Sing It Back by Moloko. It’s sexy and different and Rosie is a breath of fresh air.

All but will.i.am turn again and Ricky appeals to Rosie’s Indian background; he uses sitar in a lot of his songs, it just makes SENSE. Kylie goes one step further, takes off her stilettos and walks onto the stage barefoot.

“I’m a showgirl,” she says. “But how do you think I’ve stayed in the business for so long if my feet were not on the ground?”

“That was good,” muses Will, and Rosie agrees, choosing Kylie.

Beth Anderson is up next singing Times Like These. Her brother Christian died of cancer in 2012, and before doing so was something of a YouTube celebrity because of a message he made for his wife. Beth hasn’t sung since his death, and apparently could have done with a bit more practice - no one turns tonight.

“You were representing family, it was cathartic,” says Kylie in a way that suggests that Beth sucked but hey, she did it for the right reasons.

19-year-old Jayde Grey is next, who has a day job impersonating Marilyn Monroe at Dream World. She’s pretty, she has a lovely voice, and can play guitar, and does justice to Tom Petty’s Free Fallin’.

Everyone turns but Ricky which is weird because he was making that sexy hypnotised face again.

Will.i.am makes a comment about Joel hogging all the singer/guitarists so far, to which Joel says, “It’s because I’m good with them,” or something to that effect. Will gets his “Don’t you know who I am?” on.

“I miked The Edge’s guitar amp from U2 when I produced on their record a couple of years back,” he says.

“Oh I just about give up,” says Kylie, and you can’t blame her.

Jayde chooses will.I.Am.

Duo Zak and Crystal who together make ZK are next. Crystal is the granddaughter of late Indigenous land rights pioneer Eddie Mabo, and her grandmother Bonita watches on proudly. The pair do a nice version of Justin Bieber’s As Long As You Love Me but oddly, will.i.am is the only one to turn around. You never can tell.

ZK are from Adelaide but their families are in central Australia and will.i.am invites himself to go hang with them the outback. The Mabo connection is not mentioned and this is surprising but no doubt it will emerge later and ZK will perform on The Voice with Gurrumul. Bonita is crying with pride and she’s pretty cute.

Will’s “congestion” tonight has freed up the other coaches to add a few more members to their teams, and the teams are now conveniently pretty evenly weighted - Will and Ricky have ten each, and Kylie and Joel have nine apiece. Enjoy the last couple of blinds while you can, Australia. It’s generally downhill from here on in.