Instead of the endless, tiresome debate over whether our state deserves to join the national football league, consider asking whether the AFL deserves Tasmania.

A heartland state that has supplied a disproportionate percentage of the game's greatest players, a bountiful production line of its best athletes, generations of rusted-on die-hard supporters and 20-plus years of substantial tax-payer subsidising of three of the league's more financially-fragile clubs.

In return for such unbridled devotion, the national competition not only rejects Tasmanian advances towards the top table but gleefully accepts its money while simultaneously squandering it on far less interested, welcoming or deserving parties.

Every so-called solution originating north of Bass Strait offered by opinionated former club presidents with names that rhyme with Teddy McSquire turns out to be thinly-disguised plots to get Tasmanians to pay for alternative problem solutions.

It's almost as if the only ones with genuine interests of Tasmanians at heart are, well, Tasmanians.

Still, all this will be forgotten when 18 completely impartial observers with no vested interests whatsoever get to vote on whether Tasmania should be granted a 19th licence.

Precisely how many fat turkeys would vote for Christmas?

Similarly, how many club presidents are going to vote in favour of their share of the pie being reduced by one-nineteenth?

If ever a vote was predetermined, it is this.

It is uncannily reminiscent of when Australia and England thought they had a chance of landing the 2018 or 2022 FIFA World Cups. A lot of voters were making encouraging comments but when it came down to the decision, self-interest reigned supreme and the Ashes adversaries found themselves with as much popular support as Boris Johnson.

Fortunately, those tournaments ultimately went to Russia and Qatar, two nations entirely above reproach in all matters, particularly those relating to human rights, international aggression and incorruptibility, so all was good in the long run.

As was said at the time, when it comes to indications of which way people are going to vote, the only ones you can trust are those who say they're not voting for you.

Say what you like about Tony Cochrane - and please do - but at least there is no doubt which way the blinkered, hypocritical Gold Coast supremo is going to vote.

Obviously, nearly every Tasmanian footballer going around has had plenty to say on the subject, a veritable who's who contributing to an excellent television advertisement pushing the state's case to the edge of Devonport Bluff.

However, perhaps the most articulate argument came from respected Melbourne broadcaster Gerard Whateley who said there is "a level of mainland conceit in this Tasmanian debate that knows no bounds".

He added: "If it is put forward by the AFL as a recommendation and it is sound financially and future proof, it would be the greatest single act of bastardry in the history of the game for the presidents to vote that down and have it overturned."

Call me pessimistic, but get ready for some bastardry.

In the unlikely event of the presidents voting in favour of Tasmania joining, it can be guaranteed that such an eventuality will be tied up with so many ludicrous financial conditions as to make the notion entirely unfeasible.

Alternatively, when ... sorry, if the state is rejected it will be interesting to see whether Premier Jeremy Rockliff shows the same resolve as his predecessor Peter Gutwein and responds by pulling the pin on the Hawthorn and North Melbourne deals.

Such is the inevitability of the upcoming "no thanks" vote that it brings to mind two more orators every bit as empowering and motivational as the aforementioned JFK.

One of the many great lines attributed to the late, great British comic Peter Cook comes from The Secret Policeman's Ball when he instructed a jury: "You are now to retire, carefully to consider your verdict of Not Guilty."

Meanwhile few historical figures have been as deliciously transparent as General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanay Melchett who, when passing judgement on Captain Blackadder over the mysterious murder of his beloved pigeon Speckled Jim, stated: "Before I proceed to the formality of sentencing the deceased - I mean defendant - I think we'll enjoy hearing the case for the prosecution."