Brett Robinson loves his father, but following a heated argument when he was 12 or 13, child protection took him from his home and put him into the out of home care system.
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Within just six months, he had stopped going to school, suffered sexual abuse in a foster home, became homeless after repeatedly running away, started breaking into cars for somewhere to sleep, committed a robbery and ended up in Ashley Youth Detention Centre.
Mr Robinson - now serving a sentence in Risdon Prison - gave evidence to the Commission of Inquiry about how his life had been ripped apart by the foster and youth justice systems.
His story - as the state's Children's Commissioner Leanne McLean said - showed how systems in Tasmania "worked collectively to destroy his life".
Dad's house was 'where I needed to be', but system refused it
The day Mr Robinson was taken away from his father's house and put into a group home as a young teenager, he ran straight back. Over and over again.
He had earlier been diagnosed with early onset bipolar disorder, meaning he was prone to heightened moods, resulting in arguments with his father. But he said that was where he should have been allowed to live.
"That's where I felt safe," Mr Robinson said.
"That's where I needed to be."
His "upset" father told him to just do what child protection told him and things would work out. The opposite was the truth.
More on Tasmania's out of home care system:
The first foster home was "very volatile", in the next one he suffered sexual abuse.
He went to police, but as a young teenager, the situation was overwhelming. He cancelled the police interview and went back into the house.
He continued to run away, literally walking, jogging and hiking back to his father's, where police would be waiting to take him back to his foster home. He was moved to a home on the other side of the state, sometimes picked up walking on the highway trying to make it back to his father.
"[I] got to the point where it was a waste of time even trying to go back," Mr Robinson said.
Instead, he would sleep on the street, or break into cars to sleep on the back seat. He had no money and could not get Centrelink, so he started stealing.
He decided to commit a robbery in an attempt to get money to fly out of Tasmania.
"Basically, the robbery happened. I was arrested not long after. That was when I first went to Ashley," Mr Robinson said.
'Welcome to Ashley, boy. You do as you're told'
Mr Robinson was allowed to keep his boxer shorts on when searched in a police station, and expected the same in Ashley.
But when he bent down to pick up his clothes, he was told he had to be completely naked. He pretended not to hear the order.
"He slammed me to the ground, pretty much ripped my shorts off me, and then he said to me, 'You're not listening'," Mr Robinson said.
"And then he ran his finger basically between my butt cheeks, and inserted a finger in and said, 'Welcome to Ashley, boy. You do as you're told'."
The trauma continued throughout his stay in Ashley, including regular week-long stints in isolation in his cell where a television could not turn on, his bedding was removed first thing in the morning, and all he could do is sit and wait.
"You were just treated like shit. You were just belittled," Mr Robinson said.
"I lost track of how many times where I would be told I was a drug baby ... I wasn't wanted, and you know, this was all I ever was going to be."
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On one occasion, Mr Robinson said he was hogtied for not getting back to his room quick enough. He was slammed to the ground in the common room, and handcuffs were used to tie is hands behind his back, his ankles together, and then his ankles to his hands.
He was not provided with medication for his mental health condition.
When Mr Robinson was released, he was sent to a group home. He started using drugs and alcohol, and his adult life was one of continual homelessness and crime.
'Flood the place full of cameras'
The Tasmanian government will close Ashley by 2024 as a result of ongoing child welfare concerns, to be replaced with therapeutic centres in the North and South.
Mr Robinson said children must be made to feel safe in the new system.
"If anything does come out of it, whether it's this centre or the next centre, just flood the place full of cameras," he said.
"Make sure these kids haven't got an angle where they don't feel safe.
"It's wrong. It's destroyed my life, and it's destroyed many other lives that I know."
His evidence came after individuals who work in the Tasmanian out of home care system described concerns about attitudes and resourcing that are still failing children to this day.
Ms McLean said the cost of an inadequate system was too much to bear.
"You heard this morning the perfect example of cost of late or wrong intervention," she said.
"Mr Robinson bravely shared his story of how multiple systems in Tasmania collectively worked together to destroy his life.
"On every measure of wellbeing, that will have an ongoing cost to Tasmania."
Sexual assault support services:
- Sexual Assault Support Service (Tasmania): 1800 697 877
- Lifeline (24-hour crisis line): 131 114
- Tasmania's Victims of Crime Service: 1300 300 238
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