
In the embers of the AFL grand final, some people search for the human interest stories, the tales of triumph over adversity as they bask in their team's success or despair.
At The Examiner, we've decided to shelve that and give you the takes you never knew you needed.
Colgate dreams
The quarter-time sprint presented must-see action as West Coast's Josh Rotham, Jack Petruccelle, Liam Ryan and Tom Cole competed against Fremantle's Liam Henry, Ethan Hughes, Andy Brayshaw and Luke Ryan.
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It represented the only award West Coast could hope to win this year as the Dockers consider a Caleb Serong statue for his goal of the year win outside of the only thing of note in the city, the Fremantle Prison. Decked out in garish red tights, Rotham took first place in a win that left every viewer Googling who he was.
Nothing like the Colgate Sprint to remind you of the rampant corporatisation of football ... I mean the game we all love.
Straight outta Coldstream
Located 36 kilometres north-east from Melbourne's city centre, Coldstream is a humble little township which will now rival Mt Buller as a Demons supporter's favourite non-CBD location.
Coldstream product Bayley Fritsch's six goals for the Demons marked him alongside Adelaide's Darren Jarman in 1997 for a half-dozen in a grand final. Coldstream hasn't felt such excitement since Dame Nellie Melba bought Coombe Cottage at Coldstream in 1909.
Job continuation
If you didn't read The Examiner's uneducated preview to the AFL grand final, you should because it is available here.
In that we told you, Melbourne footballer and six-foot tall adonis Christian Petracca should be a player to watch.
Not only was he good, Petracca equalled the record for disposals in an AFL grand final in a blistering performance which included the first goal of the game and two for the match. Add it all together and you get a deserved Norm Smith Medal.
We're told from head office that sole prediction means our jobs are intact and the lights can remain on for another month or so.
Somebody think of Mt Buller
Some say that Mt Buller has been fuelled on the back of impressive snow seasons and the bank accounts of bored Melbourne supporters for decades.
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Buller was the traditional home of Demons' fans seeking to escape the CBD and reminders in September that their team was not very good. Now as the greatest team to walk on a football field in 2021, supporters' schedules are likely to be filled with back-to-back screenings of the grand final triumph, meaning the slopes will likely be barren for weeks.
The replay will even be shown on colour television this time as Dees fans party like it's 1964.
Do you know someone who is contributing to Northern Tasmanian sport, whether through participating or assisting?
The Examiner's Junior Sports Awards, sponsored by Woolworths, provide acknowledgement of accomplishments by players, coaches, volunteers, teams and clubs across the region.
Nominations are open from Wednesday, April 14, and will close at midnight on October 4.
Entries must include a photograph of the entrant.