If there's one thing driving on Tasmanian roads has taught me, it's that we really have no idea what we're doing.
Whether it's the stupid peanut above City Park in Launceston, or the cars that just park in the left lane on Sandy Bay Road heading into Hobart's CBD, Tassie's bizarre roads have generated equally bizarre driving tendencies.
Chiefly among these, in my opinion, is our seemingly absolute abandonment of using an indicator.
When we're at a T intersection: we don't indicate. When we're at a roundabout: we don't indicate. When we're merging: we don't indicate.
IN OTHER NEWS:
- COVID-19 Tasmania: Essential travellers from NSW now facing hotel quarantine
- COVID-19 Tasmania: border restrictions, face masks, vaccinations | what you need to know
- Tasmanian Premier Peter Gutwein responds to criticism from Fox Footy's Tom Morris
- Peter Gutwein announces a second round of travel vouchers for Tasmania
Now your life might be just as directionless as mine, but that's no excuse to showcase it in your driving.
'But why can't I just roll around the streets like a rudderless psycho and keep everyone else guessing?' you may ask.
Because this kind of selfish incompetence is not only illegal and dangerous, but it's driving sensible motorists literally around the bend!
I just love when I'm behind someone at a T intersection and there's no indicator. Are you going left? Are you going right? Are you going nowhere? Are you going insane?
Worse yet is when someone's at a regular intersection and thinks tilting their car in the direction their going is a sure-fire sign they're turning.
Don't get me wrong, if there's an arrow underneath you with just one possible direction: we know where you're going.
Now your life might be just as directionless as mine, but that's no excuse to showcase it in your driving
But if there's any option in the path you're choosing, the least you can do is flick that orange light on and do your thing.
Let's go back to the peanut.
I won't sit here and pretend that bizarro piece of infrastructure makes any sense regardless of how people navigate it.
But the amount of times I see fools fail to indicate off any of the exits is uncountable.
What am I supposed to assume when you keep indicating right before you exit left?
Am I supposed to use telepathy to delve into your deranged mind to figure out you're actually leaving the peanut?
'Should I let other motorists know what I'm doing? Nah they'll figure it out,' is what I'd probably discern.
I just go for it now and pray to the motoring gods people are exiting the roundabout and aren't continuing their ride around.
Now before I go any further, I should admit that I am still on my P plates (I blame Victoria's superior public transport).
But I contend that my fresh experience with learning the road rules gives me a better understanding of how those little orange lights work than those who've driven long enough to forget they exist.
In a recent Tasmania Police Facebook post, they even poked fun at the state's lack of comprehension when it comes to indicating.
"If you didn't know - your vehicle has a secret device called an 'indicator' - it's located on the steering column and activities a flashing light on the side outside of your vehicle to safely let other motorists know where you're going," the post read.
I mean c'mon, when the Tassie po-po make fun of our lack of direction on motorways, you know it's bad.
I have no problem if you want to overtake my slow-going P-plater behind on the highway, but don't just swing into the overtaking lane before swinging back in front of me willy-nilly.
You might think you're the Mad Max of the Midlands, but you and your Hilux are just leaving other motorists bewildered and embarrassed for you.
So take some time to brush up on your indicating and who knows, you might find roaming Tasmanian streets a little less infuriating.