Fasten your seatbelt. We're off to the moon.
Great. Have they opened a day spa up there?
Not yet, although if anybody does, you can be sure it will be Amanda Chantal Bacon, the latest wellness guru taking the US by storm.
Bacon! Are we sure she's a wellness guru?
Don't worry - she's vegan. But maybe we just should call her ACB to avoid any unwelcome anti-wellness vibes.
She's the name behind LA brand Moon Juice, purveyor of wellness products claiming transformative powers and adored by celebs like Shailene Woodley and Goopy Gwyneth.
Why should I know the ABC of ACB?
Some of her skincare range has just become available here in Australia. All her products are based around adaptogenics - healing plant ingredients with stress-busting properties. You might want to be an early adapter.
Moons, juice, herbs ... this all rings a bell. Didn't ACB hit the headlines for having the world's weirdest breakfast?
Admittedly, it's not your standard coffee and cereal.
According to a recent interview, ACB starts the day with a 6.30am 'copper cup of silver needle and calendula tea', followed by a drink containing vanilla mushroom protein, stone ground almond powder, Brain Dust, cordyceps, reishi, maca and Shilajit resin.
Then, she says: "I throw ho shou wu and pearl in as part of my beauty regime. I chase it with three quinton shots for mineralization and two lipospheric vitamin B-complex packets for energy."
We just sailed right past the moon and into another universe entirely.
Oh, and at 9.30am ACB snacks on a chunk of bee pollen and activated cashews.
Is there anything here for a citizen of planet earth?
ACB's 'Dusts' are furiously popular: Brain Dust, Sex Dust, Power Dust and more.
- Check out how you can save with the latest deals on health and well-being using discount codes from Australian Coupons.
When I hear 'dust,' I reach for the Dyson.
Not so fast. Sex dust promises to 'ignite your creative energy in and out of the bedroom' and Brain Dust is all about 'toning your brainwaves.'
So Bacon's saying my brainwaves are flabby?
I would argue that anyone who starts each day with a drink requiring both a dictionary and its own mortgage is the one whose brain might need a bootcamp.
Must admit, I'm finding it hard to dust-ify this one.
- Amy Cooper is a journalist who embraces wellness, but has also used kale to garnish a cocktail.