Some people are just destined for a pathway to the galaxy of diplomatic life. Join a political party, climb through the ranks, enter Parliament, get noticed by power brokers, join the ministry and cabinet and when it's over, resign and take a fast train to the utopian life of international relations. Here's how you do it. Political parties take their junkets seriously in Canberra. When a trip comes up, say a delegation to London and Paris, MPs nominate to join the delegation and a ballot is held during party meetings to see who gets to go as the party's representative. All the while you're building a profile and a network with your peers. The same goes for diplomatic postings. Maybe not a ballot but lobbying colleagues to join that fast train, especially if it's a posting with a higher salary, limousines, maids and attendants, and of course, expenses. Second and third languages not required. Inevitably it's a favour, not a challenge. Will Hodgman will acquit himself admirably in the Singapore High Commissioner gig, given his experience, but it's wrong. We should ban politicians being appointed to overseas missions, and there are more than 100 posts around the world. Both sides of politics indulge in the diplomatic golden handshake for retiring MPs. Leaders use the perk as a reward, to get rid of rivals or to create a vacancy for a party favourite, or simply to attract new blood. According to reports, under Tony Abbott's reign one in 10 diplomatic appointments went to a Liberal or National Party parliamentary retiree. The Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade has a college in Canberra called the Diplomatic Academy, based in Sydney Road, Forrest and close to Parliament House. The academy recruits budding diplomats and trains them in international relations and foreign policy, but that needn't concern aspirational MPs looking for more of the high life after Parliament. That's where it should start and end. There are stacks of talented career diplomats in postings round the world, usually risky places where your work is cut out. All the cushy, glamour postings seem to go to politicians. Kim Beazley, Joe Hockey and Arthur Sinodinos have at times been ambassador to Washington. Tasmanian Liberal Senator David Bushby was announced as the new Australian consul to Chicago an hour after he resigned as a senator. Former NSW Premier Barry O'Farrell got the High Commissioner to India posting, after resigning as Premier over a denial of receiving a gift of a $3000 bottle of wine, only to find he sent the generous benefactor a thank you note. Former Coalition Senate leader George Brandis scored the High Commissioner to London job. His Coalition Senate successor Mathias Cormann hasn't landed a diplomatic posting but he has landed an RAAF jet for his exclusive use travelling Europe, lobbying to become the next head of the OECD. I find it offensive and no different to lucrative diplomatic posts for retiring MPs, for the next stellar stage of their life. Other retiring pollies to score overseas postings include former WA Premier Richard Court, former Liberal Communications and Arts Minister Mitch Fifield, former deputy PM Tim Fischer, former Immigration Minister Amanda Vanstone, former Liberal parliamentary secretary Brett Mason, former Liberal leader Brendon Nelson, former Foreign Affairs Minister Alexander Downer, former Labor Premier Mike Rann, former Liberal minister Nick Minchin, former Labor Premier Steve Bracks, former Science Minister Peter McGauran and former Liberal leader Andrew Peacock. There are many more but you get the drift. I'm sure they were eminently able to do the job but that's not the point. The nation has plenty of eminently able diplomats specially trained to represent our country. Don't humour me by suggesting politicians are battle hardened for diplomatic postings. That may be so, but they're not being appointed for their linguistic capabilities or their talent for diplomacy. Again, it's a favour, not a challenge. The most infamous example of this was in 1974 when Prime Minister Gough Whitlam used a diplomatic posting in trying to increase Labor's numbers in a hostile Senate. He offered independent Labor Senator Vince Gair the ambassadorship to Ireland to create a Senate vacancy in Queensland. It failed. National Party Senators delayed Gair's appointment by wining and dining him at Parliament House on a mountain of prawns while the Queensland Government stymied Gough's move. It became known as "the night of the long prawns". It's a famous anecdote to illustrate how appointing politicians to overseas diplomatic postings often has more to do with politics than our relations with other countries. I wish the Hodgman family well in the mystical wonders of the Far East. Enjoy the shopping on Singapore's Orchard Road, fabulous China Town, Sentosa Island and the Marina Bay Sands rooftop. I'm being facetious. Appointing ex-politicians to diplomatic postings is nothing more than a glorified golden handshake. A favour among mates.
The current High Commissioner to the UK is former Coalition Senate leader and Attorney-General George Brandis, while former Liberal premier Will Hodgman will take the place in Singapore.
Some people are just destined for a pathway to the galaxy of diplomatic life.
Join a political party, climb through the ranks, enter Parliament, get noticed by power brokers, join the ministry and cabinet and when it's over, resign and take a fast train to the utopian life of international relations.
Here's how you do it.
Political parties take their junkets seriously in Canberra. When a trip comes up, say a delegation to London and Paris, MPs nominate to join the delegation and a ballot is held during party meetings to see who gets to go as the party's representative.
All the while you're building a profile and a network with your peers.
The same goes for diplomatic postings. Maybe not a ballot but lobbying colleagues to join that fast train, especially if it's a posting with a higher salary, limousines, maids and attendants, and of course, expenses.
Second and third languages not required.
Inevitably it's a favour, not a challenge.
Will Hodgman will acquit himself admirably in the Singapore High Commissioner gig, given his experience, but it's wrong.
We should ban politicians being appointed to overseas missions, and there are more than 100 posts around the world.
Both sides of politics indulge in the diplomatic golden handshake for retiring MPs.
Leaders use the perk as a reward, to get rid of rivals or to create a vacancy for a party favourite, or simply to attract new blood.
According to reports, under Tony Abbott's reign one in 10 diplomatic appointments went to a Liberal or National Party parliamentary retiree.
The Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade has a college in Canberra called the Diplomatic Academy, based in Sydney Road, Forrest and close to Parliament House.
The academy recruits budding diplomats and trains them in international relations and foreign policy, but that needn't concern aspirational MPs looking for more of the high life after Parliament.
That's where it should start and end.
There are stacks of talented career diplomats in postings round the world, usually risky places where your work is cut out.
All the cushy, glamour postings seem to go to politicians.
Kim Beazley, Joe Hockey and Arthur Sinodinos have at times been ambassador to Washington.
Tasmanian Liberal Senator David Bushby was announced as the new Australian consul to Chicago an hour after he resigned as a senator.
Former NSW Premier Barry O'Farrell got the High Commissioner to India posting, after resigning as Premier over a denial of receiving a gift of a $3000 bottle of wine, only to find he sent the generous benefactor a thank you note.
Former Coalition Senate leader George Brandis scored the High Commissioner to London job.
His Coalition Senate successor Mathias Cormann hasn't landed a diplomatic posting but he has landed an RAAF jet for his exclusive use travelling Europe, lobbying to become the next head of the OECD.
I find it offensive and no different to lucrative diplomatic posts for retiring MPs, for the next stellar stage of their life.
Other retiring pollies to score overseas postings include former WA Premier Richard Court, former Liberal Communications and Arts Minister Mitch Fifield, former deputy PM Tim Fischer, former Immigration Minister Amanda Vanstone, former Liberal parliamentary secretary Brett Mason, former Liberal leader Brendon Nelson, former Foreign Affairs Minister Alexander Downer, former Labor Premier Mike Rann, former Liberal minister Nick Minchin, former Labor Premier Steve Bracks, former Science Minister Peter McGauran and former Liberal leader Andrew Peacock.
There are many more but you get the drift.
I'm sure they were eminently able to do the job but that's not the point. The nation has plenty of eminently able diplomats specially trained to represent our country.
Don't humour me by suggesting politicians are battle hardened for diplomatic postings. That may be so, but they're not being appointed for their linguistic capabilities or their talent for diplomacy. Again, it's a favour, not a challenge.
The most infamous example of this was in 1974 when Prime Minister Gough Whitlam used a diplomatic posting in trying to increase Labor's numbers in a hostile Senate.
He offered independent Labor Senator Vince Gair the ambassadorship to Ireland to create a Senate vacancy in Queensland.
It failed. National Party Senators delayed Gair's appointment by wining and dining him at Parliament House on a mountain of prawns while the Queensland Government stymied Gough's move.
It became known as "the night of the long prawns".
It's a famous anecdote to illustrate how appointing politicians to overseas diplomatic postings often has more to do with politics than our relations with other countries.
I wish the Hodgman family well in the mystical wonders of the Far East. Enjoy the shopping on Singapore's Orchard Road, fabulous China Town, Sentosa Island and the Marina Bay Sands rooftop.
I'm being facetious. Appointing ex-politicians to diplomatic postings is nothing more than a glorified golden handshake. A favour among mates.
Barry Prismall is a former The Examiner deputy editor and Liberal adviser
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