The short-term prognosis for world sport would appear to be about as healthy as the 7.7 million Earthlings* currently battling coronavirus.
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But like the quarter of a million bikies converging on Sturgis, South Dakota, it seems destined to charge on regardless in the naive belief it can defeat this pandemic by ignoring it.
The 164,000 US deaths to date would appear to demonstrate how effective that policy has been, but at least it is benefitting the remaining human gene pool.
Across the planet, sport is gradually kicking off again.
Motorsport, cycling, soccer, basketball, golf, tennis and cricket are among those to have resumed competition while in The Examiner on Monday, Stewart McSweyn detailed his perilous pilgrimage to Europe for the return of elite athletics.
McSweyn's native King Island may remain COVID-free, but his regular homes in Melbourne and London are anything but.
And his arrival ahead of the first Diamond League meet of the season in Monaco duly coincided with the withdrawal of Kenya's Olympic and world steeplechase champion Conseslus Kipruto after testing positive for coronavirus.
Three events which traditionally form pillars of the global sporting calendar are scheduled to proceed on rescheduled dates later this month.
Soccer's Champions League will conclude with all seven remaining fixtures being played without fans in Portugal.
The Tour de France begins in Nice on August 29 two days before the US Open in New York.
The latter is perhaps the clearest example of rational decision-making being Trumped by short-sighted consumerism (capital T intended).
Last Tuesday, the US broke its own record with more than 60,000 new coronavirus cases.
Nick Kyrgios called the decision to proceed with the tournament "selfish" and "stupid". When Nick Kyrgios appears to be the voice of reason, the world really is in a pickle.
Novak Djokovic says he is "not sure" whether to play, and the Serb has a sound record of making intelligent calls when it comes to this virus.
There is a real prospect of a Grand Slam proceeding without Djokovic, Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer.
Meanwhile, on the women's side, Serena Williams will rarely get an easier chance to add to her 23 Slams.
Further afield lies the vexed question of the 2020 Olympics, now rescheduled to almost identical dates in August 2021.
On Friday, Tokyo reported its second highest daily figure of 462 new cases, bringing its overall total to 15,107 - a third of Japan's total figure.
The World Health Organisation's figure of 15 million infections worldwide is growing by about a million every five days.
Yet the Olympic organisation continues to paint as rosy a picture as possible. Olympic.org said latest preparations "highlight the progress made amidst the current unprecedented circumstances, with strong unity amongst all stakeholders driving the planning and delivery of next year's Games".
But, as the BBC reported last month: "Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe insists the Games must go on but COVID-19 is almost certainly not listening."
Perhaps grateful for the chance to divert media attention away from the Games, the International Olympic Committee this week marked Safer Sport Day, to raise awareness of safeguarding children in sport.
Unfortunately, the initiative coincides with the emergence of a host of global abuse scandals involving gymnasts from countries including Australia, Britain, The Netherlands and New Zealand and follows the powerful Netflix documentary Athlete A which exposed the scandal in US gymnastics.
Looks like that particular pommel horse has already bolted.
As much as we action-deprived Tasmanian sport fans might be enjoying a tipple of Porte or Peroni, we are doing so from the comfort of our favourite armchair
Around the world, countries continue to choose financial over physical wellbeing.
While decisions are dictated more by money than health factors, it is inevitable that COVID will continue to win.
Sport has a role to play.
As much as we action-deprived Tasmanian sport fans might be enjoying a tipple of Porte or Peroni, we are doing so from the comfort and safety of our favourite armchair. Their seats of choice - hazardous at the best of times, as Richie and Alex have capably demonstrated - are being rotated through some of the world's most active coronavirus hotspots.
Maybe it's time to think less about the sport, and more about the sports men and women.
* Martian statistics unavailable since the introduction of strict inter-planetary restrictions.