Burnie grandmother Sandra Radford has spent most of her 70 years trying to find out who she is.
As an infant, the mother of two found herself living in an on-going nightmare of neglect, fear and sexual abuse.
The Prospect couple who took her into work for them refused to tell her who her real parents were. Repeated efforts over the years since their deaths have turned up nothing.
Her desperation to get some sense of identity has added to a lifetime of suffering and led to what she and her supporter, Leonie Sheedy regard as a total injustice.
"I just feel invisible. Nobody wants me; it feels like that," Mrs Radford said.
IN OTHER NEWS:
"All them years I've tried to get a birth certificate but I can't get anything.
"I am devastated. I am an invisible Tasmanian. I thought I might have found out before I died, and here I am 70 and still haven't done it."
Mrs Radford applied some years ago to the National Redress Scheme for institutional child sexual abuse. She believes she was rejected because she couldn't prove she had been a state ward.
Although she received a payment from the Tasmanian scheme, she is still fighting for national redress.
WORK AND NEGLECT
Mrs Radford was raised around Prospect and Meander by mother of five, Ruby R. (name withheld for privacy reasons), whose own children had grown up and left. She and partner Frederick Chesshire were well known to the police.
"The police was going there all the time looking for us. She was reported to the welfare and they took two children off her but left the rest of us."
When the police came searching, the children had to hide in the bush, sometimes all day.
Mrs Radford says she probably did about 100 days of schooling in her life, but the school didn't follow up why she and the other foster children never attended.
"There was Jennifer, Murray, Peter, Sandra and Debbie. All we did was work, work, work."
But the daily routine was more than just work. Something much darker was happening.
In the mornings, the children took turns caring for the animals or working inside. When it was Mrs Radford's turn to work in the house, Mr Chesshire would sexually abuse her, often in horrific ways.
"I was about 8-10 when it started. He'd rape me. If I said no, I want to run away, he said he'd shoot me.
"I lived in a state of continuous terror. I told her once and she gave me a belt, reckoned I was lying because he said it wasn't happening.
"Next time I said anything like that, he said he'd shoot me. He had a cut-throat razor on a nail on the wall by the fire and he'd say I'll cut your throat with that, I'll cut you into little pieces.
"I was probably 15 when I ran away. I run into more trouble."
While trying to get a job, she stole some stockings and pants, was caught by the police and returned to her abusers while she awaited the court trial. Mr Chesshire continued raping her, and she conceived.
NUNS TOOK BABY
She had no idea she was pregnant or why she had been sent to Mount Saint Canice, a Roman Catholic institution in Hobart.
"I got bigger and bigger and I knew something was going on. I had to go out to work, then when I came back I worked in the laundry."
After the birth, she woke up locked in a dormitory with no baby. The nuns told her it was 'for the best'. She thought it had been adopted, but just four years ago she found out it had died.
Mrs Radford had two children of her own, Shane, and Wendy, who died 10 years ago. She now has six grandchildren and four great-grandchildren, who visit regularly.
But she also raised the youngest foster child after Mrs R. died in 1970, and later took in one of the teenage boys who had lived with them.
Mr Chesshire was shot to death by a young man in the district about a year after Mrs R. died. In the newspaper at the time, he was described as the 'goat man of Golden Valley'.
The life of trauma and work has taken its toll on Mrs Radford's health.
She describes her body as 'worn out' and she suffers from various chronic conditions.
"My mental health is no good. I have a lot of trouble sleeping and I'm constantly tired. I dread going to bed. I have flashbacks, a lot.
"When the kids were little it wasn't so bad, but now it's in my mind all the time what happened to me."
Lately, she has started talking more about her experiences with people she trusts.
After discovering and joining the Care Leavers Australia Network, she was supported to go to then Prime Minister Kevin Rudd's National Apology in Canberra in 2009. It meant a great deal to her.
"I felt like I had a life. I thought it had only happened to me but it had happened to other people too."
Close friend and supporter CLAN founder Leonie Sheedy said she believed the network had helped Mrs Radford.
"I think she's a hero of Tasmania. She should be Tasmanian of the year."
If you have been affected by this story, call CLAN at 1800 008 774 or Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467 or Beyond Blue at 1300 24 636 or MensLine 1300 789 978.