Graham Carvolth was in the army for 22 years, but it was during a 10-month tour of Afghanistan he experienced "horrific trauma".
Subscribe now for unlimited access.
$0/
(min cost $0)
or signup to continue reading
Three Australian soldiers were killed during Mr Carvolth's involvement in Operation Slipper - a mission that saw hundreds of Australian Defence Force personnel deployed to train and advise the Afghan National Security Forces in Kabul and Kandahar.
A critical incident officer at the time, the now Cressy-based retiree was called out to each tragedy.
One of the three soldiers killed was the first Tasmanian death in Afghanistan - Corporal Richard Atkinson.
The 22-year-old, whose parents live in Launceston, was killed by an explosion while patrolling in Afghanistan's Uruzgan province.
The second soldier killed was Lance Corporal Andrew Jones, a 24-year-old serving as a cook. LCpl Jones was shot three times by an Afghan National Army soldier.
The third incident involved Sapper Jamie Larcombe, who was just 21 when he was shot and killed, along with an Afghan interpreter, during an insurgent attack.
It is those three soldiers, and all those who served beside him, that Mr Carvolth will be remembering this Anzac Day.
The deaths during Operation Slipper in Afghanistan were the first recorded Australian combat deaths since the Vietnam war, with 43 killed to date.
Not only did the experience impact Mr Carvolth mentally, but he continues to live with physical injuries sustained during the 10-month tour.
An explosion left him with permanent damage to his ear and injuries to his back after he was thrown to the ground.
He now suffers tinnitus - a constant ringing or buzzing noise in the ear - and central neural hearing loss, requiring hearing aids.
While Afghanistan had a significant impact on him, his army career began long before that tour.
He joined in 1990 when he was 27.
It was not until 2001 that he was called to serve in his first major peacekeeping mission - Operation Tanager in East Timor.
"The first time in East Timor was pretty horrific," he recalled.
"I went there on HMAS Jervis Bay, and as soon as we hit the dock, they threw me in a LandCruiser and said 'lay on the floor and just cover yourself', I looked up and could see out the window and there were people with machetes everywhere, I thought 'what have I got myself into'.
"It was pretty hectic, but it got better."
He returned to East Timor in 2002, as part of Operation Citadel, and then again in 2007 for Operation Astute.
It was during his second deployment that he discovered an orphanage in the nation's capital Dili.
Run by nuns, the orphanage was home for about 30 children.
A sergeant at the time, he arranged to take those children to the beach every few weeks for a swim and to grab something to eat.
"It's not all about going into battle, it's also about going to bring good will to the civilians who are in the middle of it," Mr Carvolth said.
"Every operation I went on, I was there over Christmas, and I would go around giving toys out in the villages.
"Afghanistan was the same, we were there for a few reasons, and one of those missions was trying to destroy all ammunition, and trying to find as many weapons as we could.
"But it was also to help out civilians, we organised trade workshops for the Afghani civilians, and we had a few hospitals built."
While there was some heartwarming experiences in both East Timor and Afghanistan for Mr Carvolth, he still struggles daily with the trauma of seeing his fellow soldiers injured and killed.
"Unfortunately I still get a fair bit of PTSD, but the medication helps," he said.
"I was involved with a lot of stuff in Afghanistan, being the critical incident officer, anyone that got shot, killed or maimed, I was called.
"Andrew Jones he was there as a cook, an Afghani soldier shot him three times, I still remember picking him up off the ground.
"And I still remember the ramp ceremonies in Afghanistan, when we were putting the soldiers' coffins onto the plane to come back to Australia.
"It was 10 months of trauma, day after day, there was no finishing work and driving home for the day."
Leaving the army in 2012, he had earned eight medals.
They were the Australian Active Service Medal with Clasp - East Timor and International Coalition Against Terrorism (ICAT), the Afghanistan Medal, the Australian Service Medal with Clasp, the Timor Leste Defence Long Service Medal with First and Second Clasp, the Australian Defence Medal, the Solidarity Medal Timor Leste United Nations Medal and the International Security Assistance Force (ISAF) Medal.
His experience with conflict didn't end when he left the army though.
In 2014, two years after he left the force, he began work with refugees in detention centres in Darwin and then on Manus Island, when the riots broke out.
A short stint working at a resort in Uluru followed, before Mr Carvolth and his wife Amanda moved to Fraser Island off Queensland, and then finally settled in Tasmania.
Despite living rurally, he manages to stay in contact with other veterans, and was an active member of the Launceston RSL and the Veterans Support Group - before the health crisis put both organisations on hold.
The retiree will stand at the end of his driveway at dawn on Saturday, deliver his own address and play the Last Post. It will be the second Anzac Day where he won't be able to attend a service.
The first time was when he lived in Darwin and a cyclone saw the event cancelled.
"Anzac Day is a day for all Australians, regardless of religion, racial background or even place of birth," he said.
"It is a day to commemorate the bravery and self-sacrifice of past and present generations.
"To them, on Anzac day, we say be proud of what you have done, as we are proud of you. Parade yourselves confidently in the knowledge that your deeds are appreciated by the Australians for whom you served, no matter which of Australia's battles you have fought. You have helped create a tradition which our relatively young nation can display with honour in any company. We thank you all for this, Lest we forget."