Though it may mean little to most Tasmanians, last Monday, February 3 the Kansas City Chiefs played the San Francisco 49ers in the 54th Super Bowl.
This meant the 30-odd Launceston folk with free time on a Monday morning meandered down to Sporties pub to sink schooners and watch a bunch of blokes butt heads and tempt long term brain damage.
I, for reasons that are unknown even to me, have been a 49ers fan for about 10 years.
They are probably one of, if not the most important things in my life - I'll leave it to you to decide whether that's sad or not.
In other news:
Alas, good reader, my hopes of a Super Bowl win were dashed in the final quarter, as my beloved 49ers gave up a 10-point lead to fall to the champion Chiefs.
It sucked. But it's like what Tuco said in The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: "If you're going to shoot, shoot. Don't talk."
In other words, don't get comfortable when you have the upper hand, you never know when you might lose it.
Why am I telling you this? Because I need a platform to vent my sports frustrations, as I'm sure many of you do.
The incoherent yelling, cheering a crying you and your fellow humans feel as your hopes live and die with a sporting team half a world away.
You could be watching soccer, rugby or in my bizarre case NFL at 3am on the couch in total darkness.
The heartbreak I felt as I watched veteran players who came so close to immortality weep was worse than when my ex-girlfriend dumped me, and she loved me so much she dumped me over text.
But ultimately, I was proud of what a group of random men, and one woman, had accomplished.
They say sports is family, and I can't tell you how weirdly great it felt to know that millions of people who bleed the same colours as I across the world in one moment, experienced the same sadness I did.
On a a different note I'd like to shame all the naysayers who have been criticising the Super Bowl halftime show staring Shakira and Jennifer Lopez.
The vibrant mix of Latin American homages, even Shakira's cheeky tongue waggling was apparently a tribute to her Lebanese roots, was fantastic to watch.
As for the showing of skin? Sit down. Adam Levine of Maroon 5 jumped around topless with skinny jeans, showing his unoriginal tattoos at the 2019 Super Bowl.
If we all looked as good at 50 as J-Lo we'd be flaunting it in front of millions too.
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