There are all sorts of unexpected expenses lurking around every corner that the ordinary sports fan just doesn't appreciate.

Legal bills to defend your right to be homophobic, fines for pointing out an umpire's poor hat selection and sanctions for betting on games you're playing in can all arrive straight out of left field just when you think you've accounted for your weekly wage down to the last hundred thousand.

Those of us out of the loop just don't realise how difficult it is attempting to combine being an elite sportsman and a practising bigot in today's society.

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All you want is to be left alone in one of your six mansions (or three additional blocks of land) to peacefully preach hatred of minority demographics with 362,000 social media followers but pesky politically-correct pen-pushing do-gooders that wouldn't know a five-eighth from a ruck-rover come along and get you fired from your $5 million per year contract.

Faced with the finance-sapping prospect of having to tour a $7 million property empire in a $500,000 Lamborghini, who wouldn't fire up a GoFundMe page?

And if that's not enough, supporters of families requiring life-saving operations for their children dare to suggest their fund-raising causes are somehow more deserving than the right to tell homosexuals they are going to hell.

Then, after gullible lesser-well-off fellow bigots have pledged $760,000, this campaign of victimisation sees GoFundMe remove the page claiming it breaches their terms of service.

It's so unfair. I bet they don't tell parents of sick kids that.

It's a similar story for AFL players. It's inevitable they should seek to supplement a meagre average salary of just $371,000.

And what better way (excuse the pun) than gambling on contests they have inside information on?

After weeks of scrimping on double-shot decaf latte moccachinos, you have finally saved up $36 for a few harmless punts and not only did they fail to come in but your heartless employer whacks you with a $20,000 fine for breaching some minor technicality.

It's not as if that player had attended countless seminars and forums on the importance of separating one's operational duty from any habit delivered by an organisation that happily throws the book at players' gambling vices but conveniently ignores its own.

Imagine being the world's 39th-ranked tennis player, quietly going about your business of amassing career earnings of $7,257,779 and constantly having to appease nanny-state authorities who have something against verbal abuse of umpires, ball kids, opponents or hats.

All you do is politely point out that an umpire's headwear is ridiculous and suddenly you get hit with a $25,000 fine. Some people would earn money for such fashion advice.

And this followed a $30,000 punishment for throwing a chair during the Italian Open. Again, furniture removers would expect payment for such a service.

And when a photographer dares to photograph you, he deserves what's coming.

In contrast to such obviously fictional scenarios from Australia's well-funded male sporting domain, the country's sportswomen seem somehow capable of practising their art without behaving badly or attracting unnecessary adverse publicity.

For example, Ash Barty wins a Grand Slam, Ellyse Perry headlines a summer of cricket and Sam Kerr spearheads a soccer World Cup campaign but none appear remotely interested in spicing it up by demeaning an opponent, moonlighting at the bookies or suggesting an official might like to give a little more thought to their appearance.

Barty, Perry and (to give her due Australianness) Kerr-y manage to do their best talking on their chosen field of play while carrying themselves with decorum, promoting healthy lifestyles and generating some sort of role model persona for young fans to aspire to.

They just don't get it.

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