Almost every day, since I was 18, I have had to get dressed for work.
First, I was a bright-eyed law clerk. It was the '70s.
I was all smiles and stilettos in fabulous frocks from the early days of Cue.
Such apparel landed me in a dark corner with a groping real estate agent.
In my early divorced, radical separatist days...the late '80s/'90s... I chose Italian leather biker boots with green fur trim, opaque tights and loads of black, tartan or red velvet.
One memorable morning, in the mid-90s, I was called into a senior manager's office, who suggested I was definitely "ahead of my time" (fashion-wise) and perhaps should tone down or smarten up how I dressed for work.
Which was when a dear sub-editor at this newspaper introduced me to Yeltour and I did my best to smarten up and spent a motza.
Then there were the 'lost' years.
The years when I navigated work and school.
I go all PTSD when I recall getting dressed for work and trying to get myself and the kids dressed and off to school, with all our body parts intact.
Recent work mornings go like this:
Sleep till 7. Fall out of bed, stumble to shower, stay awake, coffee, toast and peanut butter, open the closest and select whichever jumper I didn't wear the day before, find clean undies and socks, pull on pants, boots and gloves and face the world on a wing and a splash of red lipstick.
My good friends in the former Soviet Union believe women at work should always look their best.
More like women at work should dress like happy sluts to keep their male counterparts content.
Russian women have been asked to release their inner goddess.
They will, ideally, be dressed in whatever sexy little outfit they think might look good in a selfie to be sent to their male managers.
This, dear reader, in the land of 'comrade' that gave us women bus drivers and some of the world's earliest and most innovative women filmmakers.
Shh! Before I let my feminist self fully out of the box and back into her old biker boots.
According to the Moscow Times, the flash-for-cash campaign, officially titled Femininity Marathon pays female employees 100 rubles ($2.20) to encourage them to wear skirts and make-up.
Sending a selfie to a manager is reportedly required as proof of compliance.
The BBC reported that the selfie campaign was also inspired by a concern for female employees' femininity.
From the land that spawned Pussy Riot, the idea was meant to help "maintain the female essence in every female employee ... So that young women do not have male haircuts, do not change into trousers, so that they engage themselves in handicraft and project all their warmth into raising children."
Repeat that last bit ... "project all their warmth into raising children".
That'll do it.
Nothing says 'mother' more than a nice frock and heels while seated at your treadle sewing machine.
Women workers are now expected to "brighten up" the days of the 70 per cent male workforce and "unite the team" at the Tatprof aluminium company.
Tatprof reported that the early selfies to managers showed women "smiling and glowing".
I'd like to see them try implement the same strategy up the road at Bell Bay.
Don't despair dear reader... at the end of my work day, I can still manage to slip my bra down my arms and out from under my work jumper before you can say "smile and glow".