She was a shy, immature university student with low self esteem when a man took an interest in her.

“Wayne came along and showed an interest in me and I sort of fell for that. Counselling has shown me since that his intense interest was really grooming.”

The couple got married, had three children, owned a business together and had two houses.

Everything looked perfect on the surface but behind closed doors Wayne (name changed) was violent to his wife.

“It was emotional, sexual, physical, psychological, anything and everything. There were incidents where he tried to kill me,” she said.

Ms Thomson has worked through the trauma of nearly 18 years of abuse and has come out the other side wanting to help others in the same situation.

Her first book called Whose Life is it Anyway? is a memoir about her experience which she hopes will become a resource for counsellors other family violence survivors.

“It’s quite confronting. The book, it’s a no holds barred. There are diary entries that talk about everything from attempted murder to rape. So it’s a really honest account.”

The Chasm Creek resident said there was still a stigma attached to domestic violence.

“People will tend still even now to judge the abused rather than the abuser or as much as the abuser in some cases, particularly if they remain in the relationship or leave and then return as I did.”

With support from family, Ms Thomson removed herself from the relationship and moved to Tasmania about seven years ago with her daughter.

“I’m at this place now where I’m really happier. I have wonderful friends, family, a good partner so why not try and help others?”

Meet Ms Thompson at 11am at Petrach’s Bookshop in Launceston on Friday.

For assistance, call 1800RESPECT the 24 hour national sexual assault and family violence counselling service on 1800 737 732.