KIT CLASHES
Clash guernseys are all well and good in the home and away season, but both teams should be able to wear their traditional kit in the grand final.
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As it turned out Richmond trotted out onto the MCG looking like they’d raided the wardrobe of former Wiggles frontman Greg Page – perhaps not the most convincing answer to Adelaide’s ‘power stance’ intimidation tactic.
Many Tigers fans wouldn’t have cared if their side had played in pink as long as they won the grand final, but let’s hope the AFL can sort out something better next time.
SCORE: Bring back the black, 5/10.
ADVERTISING
Charlie Cameron seemed to spend all day sprinting up and down the MCG but even he didn’t get as good a run as Steve from Decorama.
After a break from the screens that seemed every bit as long as the Tigers’ flag drought, Decorama came back in a big way for those viewing Seven’s grand final coverage in the state’s North, getting more airtime than Jeremy Howe parasailing and giving a timely reminder of where you can buy your curtains and blinds.
SCORE: Lovely to hear from Steve again, 8/10.
COMMENTARY
It was our first Grand Final without the instant-fire wit and razor-sharp perception of Dennis Cometti and while it was never going to be the same without him, those in his place didn’t do such a bad job.
Unless I was too busy munching on pies to hear it, Brian Taylor contained himself to the point of not even uttering a single “wowee”, while Bruce McAvaney was also reasonably reserved.
Apart from a rare moment of weakness where he described a third-quarter Tigers goal simply by chanting “yes, yes, yes, yes!”, McAvaney predominantly kept his cool and, crucially, restrained himself from making predictive observations beginning with the phrase “you just feel like if...”.
The absence of Geelong involvement even meant Lingy was bearable.
SCORE: Not bad but not great, 6.5/10.
BEARD PERFORMANCE
Straight up, hats off to Bachar Houli.
Running off half-back, the ex-Bomber gave perhaps the best performance from a beard in a grand finals since Nick Malceski in 2012.
Nick Vlastuin was also sporting a beard that made him look more like a barista than a backman - and never more so than when he fumbled in the opening minutes to allow Eddie Betts to run into an open goal.
But he settled his nerves and finished as one of his side’s best for the day, lovely to see.
SCORE: Bring on Novembeard, 7.5/10.
PROFANITY BUZZER
After such an explosive four-quarter performance from the Tigers perhaps it shouldn’t have come as a surprise when Toby Nankervis, Jack Riewoldt and Dustin Martin all dropped F-bombs in the post-match interviews within the space of about two minutes.
Let’s hope Kim Jong-un shows more discretion.
SCORE: Keep it together lads, 4/10.
TEARS OF JOY
Nothing makes for compelling viewing quite like a grown man crying live on television.
AFL lovers were treated to two on Saturday – Tasmanian and Richmond legends Matthew Richardson and Brendon Gale.
After so many years of seeing Richo in despair post-match it was genuinely heartwarming to see the big gun experiencing his Tigers tasting the ultimate success.
SCORE: Love your work Richo, 9/10.