Pollies want you to be their Valentine

TRUE love, and the wending in and out of that tender and often hurtful condition, is the focus of today's heart- shaped column.

So happy Valentine's Day today, February 14, to everyone caught up on the emotional, and rickety, roller coaster that is total and unconditional affection for another person.

As long as the mood doesn't become too obsessive and seriously weird should you recall US biopic Fatal Attraction and its boiled bunny.

Did we mention roller coasters? Oh yes, plenty of discombobulating and jarring ups and downs followed by an enormously heightened shot of adrenalin and feelings of total exhilaration.

Or maybe just a queasy feeling in the pit of the stomach.

A special greeting to young ladies affected by posy-driven hay fever and general nausea caused by gutsing too much Quality Street as proffered by some spotty-faced and sleek-haired swain who, having donned clean T-shirt and strides, is in certain anticipation of a night's lust.

There is, on the other hand, apparently no such love affair between your state government and the citizens who voted for it.

That is as anyone, and especially letter writers to this august journal, will tell you, even if this concerns our annual "love-in", Tasmania Day.

While the course of true love never did run smooth this bonding is definitely on the rocks.

Initiated by former premier Robin Gray in the mid-'80s, and once marked with much pageantry and celebration on the first Sunday in November, this sceptred isle's special day appears to have fallen completely out of favour.

As the state government's website brusquely announces: "Due to budgetary constraints the Department of Premier and Cabinet is no longer in a position to provide grants and promotions to celebrate Tasmania Day."

No flowers or chockies for you lot in 2013, then, despite 2010 site exhortations to "think about what makes you a Tasmanian" and "say `g'day' to a neighbour (or at least introduce yourself)".

Mind you, with so much overlap in this "special days" business, 365 days in the annum, and so many national days, charities and special occasions to squeeze in, maybe not such a worry.

Examples include today being Ferris Wheel Day in the US, this Saturday, February 16, Do A Grouch a Favour Day followed by Polar Bear Day on February 27 and National Nude Day on July 14.

Australia's upcoming date with electoral destiny, September 14, coincides not only with the Jewish Day of Atonement (Yom Kippur) but also with America's National Cream-Filled Donut Day.

And that's a mere two days from Play Doh Day on September 16.

Godzone's polling day is but a few sleeps from Talk Like a Pirate Day, Thursday, September 19.

Is this just a coincidence or a subliminal appeal to voters what with PM Julia Gillard sounding rather like Treasure Island's Long John Silver?

Ay, lad, them that don't vote 'ull be the unlucky ones with a fine of 10 doublets in yon letterbox, ar-h-h-h, me hearties.

La Gillardina could well turn the impending disaster scenario frown upside down with a parrot on the shoulder.

Certainly the leader of Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition, Tony Abbott, must augment the traditional throwing around of electoral pledges by turning up on his bicycle (red Speedos optional) yelling "pieces of eight, pieces of eight" and throwing fistfuls of gold foil-wrapped chocolate coins at delighted kiddies to cement his love affair with the electorate as would- be prime minister.

Happy Valentine's Day, then, and groping for an appropriate quote, we can do no better than that provided by a bloke named Brian Kiley: "I love being married. I was single for a long time and I just got sick of finishing my own sentences."


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