I loathe it when an email starts … “To whom it may concern, I wanted to reach out and see if we could arrange a meeting …”

It seems to be the language of those who need to somehow fake friendliness and familiarity to do businesses.

Really?

It’s not that I don’t like reaching out; I have been guilty of over-reach at the pub, the supermarket and even the dinner table.

But in contemporary correspondence and even meeting conversation, there’s been an increasing use of ‘reach out’ which smells a lot like gratuitous intimacy.

It takes time to get close and become familiar in personal and professional relationships.

Gratuitous, mass-produced, soulless intimacy, like the misuse of ‘reaching out’, seems aimed at getting something from you; not reaching out at all.

Call me cynical, but do I really want my accountant, lawyer, public relations guru, tourism operator or, heaven forbid, my gynaecologist or dentist to reach out?

I’d rather they booked an appointment, or found time to catch up, but reach out? Let’s leave reaching out to the person in the pulpit or Diana Ross (Spotify it.)

Truly, it can be entertaining to listen to the faddish evolution of language. For example:

I imagined a scenario at my local pop-up coffee caravan where I may or may not have overheard a passionate conversation about the perfect (language) storm:

Apparently, an over-incentivised professional absolutely told a client they were blessed to part of the journey?

Yep. Absolutely. That is, before they passed, he would share his learnings and it would be totally awesome (in the journey sense of the word) and they would wake to the absolute truth, actually. Bless.

Have fun and count the faddish words!

The Deputy Leader of Supperware Australia has been caught doing the unmentionable.

Headlines across the nation have revealed that Barbara Joyce is not all she said she was, and her tenure in the second top job is under threat.

In this special edition, our reporter, Jane Clarke, put the tough question to Barbara, whose fall from grace has been very public.

We’ll leave it to you, dear reader, to decide whether she’s got a case to answer:

JC: So, Barbara Joyce, what have you learned from your constituents in your home town, Tamworth? Are you really as bad as the headlines suggest?

BJ: I’m a naughty girl, I’ve been caught, but I believe 50 per cent  of Australians are doing it and people do bounce back. I’m on a very high pedestal but I can resolve the issue. I can bounce.

I agree, the issue certainly needs to be resolved and resolved quickly. I acknowledge there have been too many distractions and I know this is unhelpful (to Supperware).

Sadly, this has been an unsettling time. But I believe people still admire and will support me. I will work hard to convince supporters I can do the job effectively and I will never, ever, ever do it again. I’m diminished and I am sorry. It was only 50 nights!”

JC: Forgive me Barbara, what exactly is it that you’ve been up to?

BJ: I’ve been picking my nose. As I’ve said I’m sorry. Anyone got a hankie? I think I need some personal leave. Have you got a spare room at your place?