Imagine wondering if you had just taken your last breath – would you have regrets or wished you had lived a different life?
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Bianca* knows the answer to those questions after nearly losing her life late last year due to an asthma attack.
After more than a decade of respiratory issues and severe reflux she felt forced choose between continuing to work or continuing to live.
“There are times I have sat home and cried all day … I’ve had a breakdown. I have had suicidal thoughts due to my health, I couldn’t deal with life, I didn’t know what to deal with, everything was thrown at me and I cried for help,” she said.
On that fateful day she collapsed at home and was found by paramedics after they traced her call.
“I had three massive attacks that day. I was always coughing, spluttering and dry retching and thought I needed to give up work for 12 months and focus on my health. It was hard because I have always had an income.”
Her new treatment, which involves monthly visits to the Launceston General Hospital, is proving successful but with no income of her own Bianca must live off a Centrelink payment of $647 a fortnight.
Locked into rental and phone contracts and with a loan, which were all secured when she was employed, Bianca’s life would have been bleak if not for the support of family.
“I would be on the streets, who can live on $647 a fortnight, nobody,” she said.
“I‘m not in housing, so I pay $600 a fortnight rent so that leaves me $47. With the hospital I pay $24.60 for my treatment and I spend about $30 a month on my medications because I take five tablets before I go the bed at night.”
She made contact with Family Services at Launceston’s City Mission and is sometimes supported with her phone bill, food vouchers and access to information about services such as Aurora’s YES program.
But only her closest friends and family know of her need for support.
“It’s embarrassing when someone wants to do something with you and you can’t afford to go or you don’t have the petrol or you can’t invite someone to dinner because you don’t have money to buy meat.”
Despite her struggles Bianca tells her story with positivity.
“You go through a sort of depression, I have an addict in the family and I am dealing with that as well and that puts strain on you,” she said.
“But I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, things are going to get better and I am going to go back to work. I’m just lucky I have my family. Others have it a lot worse.”
*Name changed to protect identity.
Funds raised as part of the Winter Relief Appeal are distributed among charity partners City Mission, the Launceston Benevolent Society, the Salvation Army, and St Vincent de Paul.