My wife and I share the same terribly unrealistic fantasy.
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Now before you spit out your Weet-Bix and turn the page, it is nothing as salacious as Fifty Shades of Grey – the only thing happening on that colour front are the hairs sprouting from my eyebrows like John Howard’s possessed love children.
It’s breakfast: or brunch to be more precise, and the luxuriating idyll of enjoying a sleep-in, followed by eggs benedict and a few strong flat whites.
It doesn’t need to be a big sleep-in either; something post 7am would be bliss.
You see we are pretty much captive to the whims of two capricious house guests, aged eight months and two years.
They are lovely little humans but they are boys and more inclined to smash their cutlery against the table (and on each other) than use it on a smashed avocado.
Now I know plenty of people will be tut-tutting and saying, “Maybe you should teach them to behave,” but the potential of disturbing other diners just makes me want to stay home and eat burnt toast.
The risk of embarrassment from badly behaved boys is only marginally less than trying to remember how to pronounce quinoa. (Seriously, it must be a made-up word to separate those who will pay $40 for a salad from those who would be happy with a hard-boiled egg.)
Speaking of cafe cash, hospitality staff have taken a hit with the Fair Work Commission slashing Sunday penalty rates.
Full-time and part-time employees have had their penalties reduced from 175 per cent down to 150 per cent.
Full-time and part-time retail workers were hit harder with their penalties dropped from 200 per cent down to 150 per cent, while casual employees dropped to 175 per cent from 200 per cent.
The same reductions applied for people working on Sundays in pharmacies.
For people working in fast-food, their Sunday rates went to 125 per cent from 150 per cent for full and part-timers, while casuals fell from 175 per cent to 150 per cent.
The news was welcomed by business groups and lambasted by unions and those directly impacted. After all, the battle between management and those who control the means of production is not new.
The commission has struck a good balance between recognising that the weekend, particularly Sundays, is deserving of compensation, but also acknowledging the world has moved on from Sunday being a day of religious rest.
Truth is the demand for a seven-day-a-week society has outstripped the reverence once attached to the weekend.
Of course you feel for people who relied on weekend penalties to boost their income, particularly those who cannot reasonably work other days: students, parents, etc.
However, Sunday penalties were not designed to compensate for unsociable hours, they were imposed in the 1920s to dissuade employers from opening on Sundays.
It is hoped lowering wages will encourage employers to put more people on and open longer hours. If that creates more flexibility for workers and consumers, that is a net positive.
Because at the end of the day, if local businesses are not open when people want to access them, they will not spend their money or worse, spend it online.
Every dollar that can be spent in a local economy has a multiplier effect that cannot be underestimated.
- Mark Baker is Fairfax Tasmania managing editor