For two Northern Tasmanian women, a friendship they formed after their husbands were in a psychiatric unit together has served as a saving grace.
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Longford woman Georgie Blake’s life would never be the same after her husband, a policeman, was involved in a traumatising incident.
Mrs Blake’s husband, former constable Ian Blake, shot a man dead after being attacked while responding to an incident alone, in a high-profile Westbury incident in 2010.
An inquest cleared Mr Blake of any wrongdoing three years later.
The following year, he was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.
“It took a while for him to accept it, probably about a year, but now he does accept it, and he's trying to work hard to do as much as he can to help himself,” Mrs Blake said.
“He'll never get rid of it, because he's got severe PTSD, and whole-person impairment, because it was left so long without getting help."
The former police officer has been battling the illness since, seeking professional help and support.
For his wife, the diagnosis was bittersweet. Learning her husband was suffering from a mental illness, she at least had an explanation for his behaviour. It was something of a relief, she said.
Mrs Blake had suspected he had the disorder.
"[He had] a bad temper and [was] really on edge,” she said.
“He had memory issues.
“It just wasn't Ian.”
Mrs Blake felt at times as if she was mourning someone who was still alive.
“His symptoms got really worse and worse and he's been off work since 2014,” Mrs Blake said.
Her husband often suffers horrific nightmares, as well as depression.
The effects reverberate throughout their home, and Mrs Blake is impacted by fatigue, stress and headaches.
Evandale woman Mary Binks knows Mrs Blake’s pain.
Ms Binks’ husband, former foreign correspondent Dean Yates, exhibited severe PTSD symptoms after the couple and their three children moved to Evandale in 2013.
She said she spent a significant amount of time trying to predict her edgy, anxious husband’s every move.
Her husband sought psychiatric inpatient treatment in August after he said he reached a “crisis state of mind”.
Ms Binks, who also worked abroad as a journalist, said she often wondered how her husband seemed so composed.
He had covered tragedies including the Bali Bombings and the Boxing Day Tsunami, and spent time covering conflict in the Middle East.
Ms Binks could recognise PTSD symptoms – during her time as a journalist, she had worked with many people who suffered the disorder after covering traumatic events.
I've had counselling, I've been to psychologists, but this has been the best remedy ever.
- Georgie Blake, whose husband has PTSD, on her friendship with Mary Binks.
“I didn't see it in Dean for quite a while, he would have had PTSD really since the Bali Bombings,” Ms Binks said.
“Then it just accumulated from there,” she said.
“I used to always wonder, ‘how can you almost tread on a severed hand on the scene of the Bali Bombings [and be fine]?
“I used to say to him, I don't understand how this could not affect you, and he used to say, ‘well, I'm alright’."
Ms Binks and Mrs Blake became friends after their husbands met in a psychiatric ward for people with post-traumatic stress disorders, in Melbourne.
The newfound friendship provided much-needed solace, as they shared their unique pain with one another.
"I've had counselling, I've been to psychologists, but this has been the best remedy ever," Mrs Blake said.
"It's very hard to explain,” Ms Binks said.
“In fact I haven't really talked about it to many people, because what can you say, people don't understand about PTSD let alone the effect it has on spouses and partners."
The women discuss the isolation and anxiety that living with someone who has the disorder can bring.
"Since I've met Mary, she knows exactly what I'm dealing with because she's gone through the same sorts of things," Mrs Blake said.
Anyone can develop PTSD following a traumatic event, according to mental health advocacy group beyondblue.
About 12 per cent of Australians will experience the disorder in their lifetime.
Triggers include car accidents, physical or sexual assault, war or torture, or disasters such as bushfires or floods.
Those experiencing it have feelings of intense fear, helplessness or horror.
Upsetting memories, flashbacks or dreams of the event are all symptoms.
Trouble concentrating, difficulty sleeping and being easily startled can be signs of PTSD.
It’s not unusual for people with PTSD to experience other mental health conditions at the same time.
These may have developed directly in response to the traumatic event or have followed the PTSD.
Mr Blake has returned to the psychiatric unit in Melbourne for further treatment.
Now, the two women are looking to reach out to other Northern Tasmanians impacted by their partner’s PTSD.
They hope to replicate the unique connection they have formed with other people experiencing the same traumatic and painful experiences.
If you would like to join the support group, contact Ms Binks on 0400 157 110 or Mrs Blake on 0427 320 408.
If you need help, you can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or beyondblue on 1300 22 4636