Labor serves up broken ties and sees red over Greens

'TIS the season for awkward office Secret Santas, which got us wondering how this gift-giving ritual among colleagues would go down in the Tasmanian cabinet.

Sure, it seems like you always draw the colleague that sits across the other side of the room and you're not entirely sure what it is they do even after five years working with them, but it's fair to say a cabinet Kris Kringle would present a few more "challenges", as the Premier would say.

So, in the spirit of Christmas, we've let our imagination run wild attempting to recreate the festivities that would've gone on at Monday's cabinet meeting - the last for the year and possibly the last as we know it, judging by the Premier's subsequent comments about the Greens' presence.

In the Secret Santa tradition of magically pairing up the office frenemies, it would be fitting if David O'Byrne had pulled Lara Giddings's name out of the hat.

The Premier's wish-list would be a particularly long one after a rough year and a pulp mill would have to be near top of that list.

The Infrastructure and Economic Development Minister is doing his best, but even if it was within his powers, he won't be giving it to the Premier to take all the credit that easy.

Perhaps a bartending course is more realistic?

Moving on quickly, it's Ms Giddings's turn. She's drawn Greens leader/government minister/thorn in her side Nick McKim.

She's been waiting for the right moment and it now seems appropriate to pass over the divorce papers along with as much of the baggage attached to relationship.

As they say the gift of giving is greater than receiving.

Undeterred, Mr McKim is excited about his present for Resources Minister Bryan Green.

While it was tempting to go for a punching bag with some instructions for workouts particularly good to use ahead of attending major sporting events, he's got a better idea.

The Greens leader has written to the Nomenclature Board to have the first tranche of reserves secured under the forestry peace deal named the Green National Park. It's got a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

The other Greens minister, Cassy O'Connor, has the difficult task of buying for the man who has everything.

With a surname like Bacon, what more does Scott need in the lead-up to the election?

Still, she's determined to make an effort and considers lining up another winter event for the Tourism Minister, but why stop there, she decides, why not go for a year-long MONA run festival?

In return, Ms O'Connor gets an electric vehicle from the generous Leader of the Government in the Legislative Council Craig Farrell.

She'll be needing it without a ministerial vehicle at her disposal.

Someone always falls back on trusty alcohol, but as the sole Labor MP with a huge workload to bear on his own, Mr Farrell needs a stiff drink more than most and accepts gratefully from Mr Bacon.

So many gift ideas for the ambitious Mr O'Byrne - votes in a leadership challenge or some meaty recommendations from government advisory groups or inquiries among them.

Having left the gift buying to the last minute, they prove a bit hard to come by, but there's still time to pick up a freight-only ship to be operated by TT-Line. He thanks Deputy Premier Green.

That just leaves Bass MHAs Michelle O'Byrne and Brian Wightman who've picked each other.

Michelle knew just what to get Brian - a Tasmanian devil onesie to wear for those press conferences when he can't get the real thing.

Might also come in handy if he turns into a post-election couch potato.

Ms O'Byrne would have loved a completed new Royal Hobart Hospital, but has to settle for a 3D short film of the future building - almost as good as the real thing.

This fantasy Kris Kringle has been fun.

In the real world, the best these cabinet colleagues can hope for this Christmas is a good break.

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